You've finally decided to try therapy but you don't know where to start. And your search so far looks something like this: You've opened a directory, scrolled through fifteen names and found yourself reading fifteen versions of the same thing. Safe space, non-judgmental, holistic approach… Understandably, you are no clearer on who to actually contact than when you started. If anything, you're more confused!
This is one of the stranger paradoxes of looking for a therapist. The moment you need clear thinking the most to finally get some help is precisely the moment you're asked to make a consequential decision with almost no useful information.
So let me try to give you some advice.
What the research actually says
If you ask most people what makes a good therapist, they will tell you experience, qualifications, or the right therapeutic method. While these things are not irrelevant, good research tells us a more complicated story.
One of the most consistent findings in psychotherapy research is that the quality of the relationship between therapist and client is a robust, independently established predictor of good outcomes. This would suggest that good outcomes in therapy are not predicted by your therapist's modality or their years of experience, but whether the two of you can build a genuine working alliance — perceivably shared direction, mutual trust and honest communication.
Specifically, Martin, Garske and Davis (2000) conducted a meta-analysis of 79 studies and found this pattern consistent across the range of therapy types examined. Cognitive behavioural, psychodynamic, systemic, narrative… When researchers looked at what differentiated successful therapy from unsuccessful therapy, the quality of the relationship between the client and the therapist proved a more consistent predictor than the specific method the therapist used.
So, modality is probably the most over-weighted factor in how people choose a therapist. Still, people spend considerable energy researching the difference between CBT and psychodynamic therapy, trying to determine in advance which approach fits their problem. It feels like doing your homework, but may actually be misleading or irrelevant.
As you may have already found out, most therapy directories are not designed to help you act on this because they won't tell you much more about the therapist than what modality they've trained in.
But then what should you look for?
Experience may also matter less than some people think
Interestingly, experience is similarly unreliable as a signal.
Goldberg et al. (2016a) tracked 170 therapists and over 6,500 clients across more than a decade and found a small but statistically significant decline in outcomes as therapists accumulated experience, rather than the improvement most people would expect. The same research group found that outcomes did improve in settings where therapists worked within structures of routine outcome monitoring, active feedback, and deliberate practice (Goldberg et al., 2016b).
This means that a therapist five years in, working under regular supervision and genuinely examining their own approach, is likely to serve you better than one with twenty years of experience doing these things less and operating more or less on autopilot.
So keep in mind… credentials and training establish a baseline. But within that baseline, they don't tell you much about the therapist. Sure they have a master's or a PhD from a fancy university, but do you feel safe with them? Are you heard?
What matters is how they write about you
This is what I suggest you do after finishing up with this article. Read the website or profile of the therapist you're considering carefully. Not for the qualifications, but for how they write about people. Does their language suggest they see clients as individuals with specific lives and specific difficulties, or does it feel generic? Does their stated approach make sense in plain terms, or is it a wall of professional vocabulary? That's a good sign — email them and set up a first session. You won't be much wiser unless you actually meet them.
Then, when you have a first conversation, pay attention to how you feel during it. Not whether you immediately feel better, but whether you feel heard. Whether the therapist seems genuinely curious about you and whether you have a good feeling about their care for you. Ask yourself whether you can imagine being honest with this person about something difficult. If the answer is yes, then give them a go for a second session and see where it takes you.
But if something about the dynamic makes honesty feel difficult, if you feel judged, or reduced, or like you have to perform wellness, that's a red flag and good information for you to find someone else. It doesn't automatically mean the therapist is bad (although it may in some cases). It may mean they're not the right fit, which is a different thing. In such case, go back to searching and repeat.
Ask people you trust
Finally, one of the most reliable ways to find is to ask someone you trust whether they can recommend their therapist (or their friend's therapist or their neighbor's cat's therapist but you get the gist). A personal recommendation from someone who has had a good experience carries more signal than any directory profile.
One caveat: the therapist you see should not also be treating someone close to you — a partner, a sibling, a best friend. Therapy only works if you can speak freely, and you won't be able to do that if your therapist already knows the person you most need to talk about. A good therapist will recognise this conflict themselves and decline to take you on, so it's worth mentioning the connection upfront so they can make that call.
A note on fit
Finding the right therapist sometimes takes more than one attempt. The first session is informative for you, not a commitment. You're allowed to decide, after a consultation, that you want to try someone else. And a good therapist won't feel offended that you've eventually chosen someone else. After all, the only thing that matters is that you find good care and get better.
I've been there myself and met with at least two therapists before I found my "match" who has now been my therapist for almost 9 years. And even though I didn't stay with the first one, they led me to the one I still see today.
Am I right for you?
Of course, it wouldn't be an article on my website if I didn't try at least a little bit to sell myself here! Now that I've given you some advice on how to look for a therapist, I invite you to have a look at what I offer here on my website. And if my way of writing about my clients or anything else about me resonates with you, I will be happy to hear from you. Maybe I could be your fit.
In any case, I wish you good luck on your journey! :)